Special December Guest: Lemon Drop Kid

Welcome to the first of a special monthly series that features a post from a secret guest. Today, Dinah's Club hears about baking from the male perspective.

I rediscovered my love of baking sweets a year ago. In my early teenage years I took a shine to making cakes (chocolate mainly), muffins, peanut butter biscuits... basically anything that came in a quick and easy to make packet. In those days, mixing some powder with a few eggs and chucking it in the oven seemed like a big deal. I'd watch on as the cake painstakingly rose, take it out and slather icing over it and serve it up to my family. The result was good but never great.

My baking rebirth came just before the boom of the Australia's Master Chef. The show isn't the reason I decided to return to the kitchen, but its success and celebration of food certainly spurred me on to follow my passion.

I love lemon tarts, always have. Naturally, it was the first thing I made, but not necessarily the first thing I made well. I made the pastry from scratch, rolling it out, placing it over the tart tin and baking it to a crisp golden brown. In making the curd, I used more than a tad of elbow grease to grate the lemons, squeeze the juice, and whisk the eggs and sugar together. It looked great cooking in the oven, like a lovely golden sunset. I wasn't sure how long to cook it for - the recipe said 15-20 minutes or until just cooked. The first crack appeared soon after refrigeration. More cracks came, like an earthquake splitting Terra Firma. It turned into a messy sight but it still didn't dull the great taste. I knew I was on the right track.

Since then I have made almost half a dozen desserts and each has been a hit. I decided to make special desserts for friends at work. I ask them what their favourite dessert is and scour the Internet and books for recipes. I've made an apple and cinnamon tea cake, a gooey upside-down pineapple cake and ugly but yummy Italian biscuits for a friend on her birthday. I even made some peppermint choc and coconut balls after losing a bet on the Grand Final.

My latest creation was a lime meringue pie in honour of a colleague's 24th birthday. It has proven the biggest hit. The lime was a welcome twist, the biscuit base was easy to make and tasty and the meringue sweet, but not sickly.

I like making things for other people because it gives me a task and the smile on their face when they see their special dish makes me feel happy. It also gets everyone together talking about food and cooking; and of course, eating. My skills are improving and I feel more confident in trying difficult recipes. I have acquired lots of baking equipment along the way including a cool space-age looking whisker, measuring cups, a tarte tin, springboard cake pan, rolling pin and a wire cake rack.

Before, the directions were on the back of the packet and everything was neat and tidy like a school essay. Now, everything seems a lot more haywire. There's pots and pans and flour everywhere, and the measurements have to be oh-so-right and cinnamon is in the house for the first time. But hey, I finally feel like I'm baking.

Mocking the Mocha

I grew up a chocolate lover, not a coffee drinker.

The aroma of those beans was mesmerising enough to try it repeatedly, but the taste was too bitter to turn it into a habit.

One day someone suggested I try a mocha, rather than my usual hot chocolate, and my life was transformed.

My sister (also a non-coffee drinker) shook her head in disgust when I described this new hot drink sensation and said it was a matter of time before I progressed to the cappuccino, latte, espresso and, finally, died a hard-core, caffeine-injecting junkie.

But I haven't changed. I've stayed true to the mocha; that most beautiful combination of knock-your-socks-off coffee coated in heart-melting chocolate.

Out there are those coffee judgers who deem anything less than single source beans from the arse of a Persian cat laughable. A few weeks ago, when I ordered a soy mocha from a highly regarded CBD caffeine haunt the skinny baristo dressed in black complete with ''graphic designer'' rimmed glasses actually winced. Winced!

Don't hate me because I'm different.

Who will reign supreme?

Ethiopian cuisine added another feather in its cap after Dershaye, the chef at Harambe restaurant in Footscray, took out the title of Tin Chef 2009.

If you haven't heard of the illustrious competition it pays homage to the brilliant tv show Iron Chef, but pits kitchen maestros from the western suburbs against each other.

It had Matt Preston's stamp of approval - he was one of the judges.

If you want to see what all the fuss is about, then get down to Footscray and pick up some of the vegetable curries using the strangely addictive injera bread. It reminds me of Spongebob Squarepants.

Those deli girls

I never used to have a lot of time for deli girls. I was a check-out chick back in the day, and when you work in a supermarket there is generally a great divide between those on the front line... and everybody else.

That all changed when I stopped in at Beaufort IGA. My Combi-driving companion and I were responsible for picking up some lunch-ables from the afore-mentioned establishment on our way to meet others for a weekend jaunt in the Grampians.

We asked Jess, the deli girl, for some meat. It took us some time to decide on the triple smoked ham (three times' the charm right?) so she really threw us a curve ball when she asked the dreaded deli question: ''How much?"

After some conferring behind our shopping baskets, we threw down this gauntlet: "342 grams."

The tension built as she sliced closer and closer to the mark. We thought we had her when the scales read 340 - but lo' and behold if the last slice she tossed casually onto the pile didn't bring the total up another 2 grams.

What a legend.

You have a baguette for a chin and a nose like the Eiffel tower

I love the French. Or, to be entirely truthful, I love French food.

Dive into gritty Degraves Street, Melbourne and you can transport yourself back to Paris thanks to Waffle On.

This hole-in-the-wall sells baguettes the way they should be sold: fresh with slathers of delicious butter and winnning combinations of filling.

I visited it for the first time last week and was careful to line up patiently, and clearly enunciate my order: ''Two orders of Le Fermier and one order of Le Normandy please, merci.''

While I wait, the French managers insult the customers. One bloke says he'll take the number 4 baguette (butter, chicken, mayo, lettuce and tomato) but with ham instead. The woman behind the counter is confused: ''So you want zee chicken and zee ham, or just zee ham?"

"Nah, just the ham.''

The man behind the counter pulls a face. "You can have zat, but it vill be de-gusting!"

Hungry?

Then get thee to a supermarket and buy a few (or more) of my favourite things:

1. King Island yoghurt with honey and cinnamon. So creamy it was what Prince was really singing about.

2. Connoisseur Cookies N Cream ice-cream. It's even better with chocolate topping, if you can believe that.

3. Toblerone. My Dad's favourite. He's a smart man, so pay attention.

4. Lowan apricot and almond muesli. It'll power you through the whole day, or at least till you have a mid-morning snack.

5. Yumi green olive dip. It hurts so good.

Tupper-where?

I thought it was something that disappeared after the 50s, but turns out it's still around - and recently infiltrated my office.

Two workmates did a grand job hosting a tupperware party - one played good cop and the other bad cop. The tupperware ''demonstrator'' didn't do much demonstrating - with not even an onion on hand to show off the tears-free happy chopper.

I came for the choc biscuits, but left the owner of a potato masher*.

*I didn't get it for free in exchange for advertising... but I was given a mini rubber scraper - does that count as a bribe?

Hand signals

WHEN i booked in to attend the sixth annual Yarraville Village Lunch on Sunday I was expecting it to be all about food. It wasn't, but that's no criticism.

While I turned up as Starvin Marvin, the day ended up being all about the experience. After all, it's not too often that you sit down to eat lunch in the middle of a street with 200-odd strangers. We were entertained with music, plied ourselves with tasty wine from Galli Estate and got plenty of laughs from the conversation coming from all sides.

Ok, so let's deal with the food. There were tasty olives from Mt Atkinson Olive Grove and bread from Bakers Delight upon arrival. The first course was three hors d'oeuvres from Yim Yam which I found oily or bland. Thumbs down.

The next was an onion tart from Hausfrau, which got my vote for best dish. It was deliciously eggy and oniony. The only criticisms I had was the presentation (it was unceremoniously covered in a pile of rocket) and the edge of the crust was a little hard.

The main course was by The Bank Gallery: five-spiced duck on a hokkein noodle pancake. The duck was lovely with a tasty crispy skin but the pancake was burnt on the outside and bland on the inside. So that left me confused.

Things ended on a high with a wonderfully creamy tiramasu concoction. I could have taken or leaven the petit fours from Alfa Bakehouse that were covered in garishly colored icing.

We made such good friends at the lunch that we ended up going to the Seddon house of fellow diners for more wine. I don't remember much after that but I do know I had a good time.

Dinah had a little lamb

Once upon a time there were two sisters who didn't look like big eaters but could really pack away the food. They often went to dinner at their favourite Greek restaurant Pireaus Blues and one night, decided to order a dessert (they always ate dessert) they had never tried: loukomades. The restaurant owner laughed at them when he brought over a plate piled with the doughnut balls covered in honey and nuts.

"You'll never finish that - share it around with your neighbours."

The gauntlet was thrown, and a shot of ouzo on the house was up of grabs. Betting became furious around the restaurant, among staff and diners, as the sisters grabbed their tiny forks, took a deep breath and ate the whole damn lot.

On Friday, those sisters visited to the guy's new restaurant Philhellene. We got a massive banquet (see pic for just a selection of the entrees) so we could try everything and the food got the thumbs up from everyone bar one tight arse at our round table. For me, it brought back memories of a recent visit to Greece where I discovered three of my favourite things: Retsina (a white wine flavoured with pine resin), kalitsounia (Cretan cheese pies) and lamb with artichoke.

Matt Preston said the last dish was one of the best he'd tasted. Listen to him, the man knows what's he is eating about. Other highlights were the spicy sausage and kofte. I can't wait to go back four out of five lambs.

Top secret sh*t

For those of you who have tasted mine (and anita's) toblerone cheesecake recipe - you'll know what i'm talking about.

For those who haven't - poor you.

ASIO has been after this for years. I'd successfully eluded them, until a triple agent (Hi Nura!) foiled me.

So now you have it. Assuming you can read my doctor's handwriting.

Répondez s'il vous plaît

I've made a booking (under protest) for the first meeting of Dinah's Club. A club for those who like to eat out in the many yummy haunts of Melbourne, and then crap on about it later.

Call me a commitment phobe, but I don't like to make bookings. My eating patterns should be determined by how loud my stomach is grumbling, not restaurant owners.

But if it comes down to being forced to guess what time I'm going to want to eat dinner a week before I'm going to eat it, or not getting to eat it.... it's no contest.

And last time we tried to ''wing it'' at Philhellene we were rejected. The spontaneity might be disappearing from the Melbourne food scene, but it sure still smells good. Stay tuned to find out how it tastes.